Musing…..

Since last few months I have gone through lot of turmoil. So many emotions. Tried so many ways to tackle the emotions.

Some emotional turmoil was out of my control and touchewood I don’t have that stress anymore. Mom is showing good signs of recovery.

Was planning to move to another department. Not sure if that decision was good,was very anxious. New colleagues and new work environment. As it is said persistent pays,I got the position which was trying to get since a long time. Alibaba founder is my inspiration.

Covid has taken it’s toll on everyone. Very close uncle passed away due to CPOD and due to restrictions can’t travel to see him for one last time. How hard is for the family when they need people around are now alone. He was loved by everyone and was a father figure in the family. May his soul rest in peace.

Schools started here after a gap of six months. Kids look forwarded for the re-opening of the kids. They have been jailed at home for six months. School is taking all the necessary precautions but as a mother I have my own fears. Luckily I am working from home so I receive them when they are back from school and to tell them change and take a shower.

Summer is done now. It’s getting colder, not like fall temperature. All the vegetable plants are slowly shredding leaves. This is the end for a new beginning.

Day 25 Chaos Vs Calm

The calmness in the house kills me.Sometimes when I come home after work, husband takes kids to math classes and house is so calm.

I hate it and feel like going to the math class to bring kids back home. Sometimes I go directly to math classes from work because I don’t want to be in the house without them. I know I am possessive and I am not yet prepared for my kids to leave my nest.

I always prefer a small house where kids are in front me. I always dared to take a big house in which I don’t know where they are until I call them asking where they are. I never give time out to my kids and lock them in their bedrooms. I have been advised that to discipline the child you  have to punish them not to come out of their bedroom for sometime. I will never ever do it.

I want everything to be done in the living room. Reading books,watching TV together,gossiping about friends,sharing secrets….I do give them their space and I too take some time for myself.

Varu was told by her friend that the moment her father comes home , the house has to calm if not her father gets irritated. Your house is made for you and kids. Your house is not complete without your kids. They talk,sing,chatter,fight…it’s like this until they go to bed….

Family that reads,eats,sits,chats,gossips together lives together. That’s my version of Family that’s eat together lives together.

Day 22 Today’s update

As usually got up at 5:30 am today. Made kids lunch box and my lunch box. Kids got up and got ready by 7:45am. To layers ourselves we have to assign another 15 minutes. The moment the I opened the front door strong wind hit my face and it was bone chilling outside. And my car had a flat tyre. Then only I realized that I am yet to change my car tyres, has to use winter tyres now. Luckily husband was at home and he dropped me and kids. Called the service centre and they gave me a date for next week. So I am at mercy of husband to drop and pick me. 

Husband friend’s son is coming here to study. The boy’s dad called husband so many times telling him to pick him up at the airport, keeping him at my house etc… It’s so hard for the parents to send kids away. When husband friend was talking to him I felt someday I will be him if I send my girls away for education. I prefer not to but I don’t want to interfere in their choice. Varu is 12 now and in another 4 or 5 she will fly away. 

Very short post today, see you all tomorrow.