Crazy mummies….

Thanks blogadda

I was always been a average student.My mom knows how much i will score much before my results cause i always used to get  60%.Even in my PG i didn’t score more than 60%,maybe  my IQ is that much only.I don’t remember my mom forcing me to study for the exams nor i went to tutions.My mom was a working women so we sisters used to study by ourselves.

I never force varu to study except for hindi.But she scored quite well in hindi as such it is difficult to score in hindi but she did quite well and also in telugu she scored well.Her fav language is telugu now and she shows interest in telugu.

Why i wrote all this??

Recently we had a ptm in the school and there a student got 85% marks and that boy’s mom was very upset with the result and in front of everyone she was  scolding the boy that he got ONLY 85%.Poor at the young age of 6 1/2 years he has to come to his mother expectation of getting 99% marks.The boy eyes were moist.

We expect so much from the kids from the day they are born.We check milestones whether they reached there at the correct age and we burden them of going to school at the tender age of 3.I did a mistake by sending varu to LKG at 3,poor girl she used to get so tired that she used to sleep of without changing her school uniform and without lunch.So i didnt do the same mistake with pinkuda she is supposed to go to LKG but we both decided not to trouble her,we joined her in the nursery.When we ask her what she did in her school,she says i ate my breakfast and played played…..

I have noticed with my two kids that one grasp new things quickly where as other one takes time to understand and to remember.Then why few mom’s compare their kids with others.Recently varu’s classmate’s mom took varu’s bag just to check if her son has missed anything to write.She didn’t ask me nor the teacher she just took the bag with the books and came home after 3 hours to return the books and she was complaining about her kid that he doesn’t writes anything properly,your daughters books are very neat and complete.Poor that boy didn’t lift his head up.Really some parents are crazy they behave as if their kid is studying for IAS exams and they have to prepare notes for their kids.I have seen mothers taking off from their offices just to make their kid study for unit test that too for grade 2.I don’t know what rocket science they are going to teach their kids.

I hate when they ask me what is your kids percentage,what they will do by knowing it ? maybe they will compare and scold their kids 😦

This post was in my drafts since long,i am not getting time at all.When i was in dxb i used to have much time for myself inspite of not having a house help.Here has got house help for all the household chores and my job is just to wash clothes (which a washing machine does) cook and feed the kids.But not getting time at all.The only extra thing i am planning to do was to go for a walk,which i am planning since last 3-4 months but not yet started.Hope my plans of going for a walk will start from Jan 2011.

21 thoughts on “Crazy mummies….

    1. I just hope such parents learn their lessons soon and stop pressurizing the kids.I saw my cousin’s daughter being worried so much about losing 2 marks in an exam that it broke my heart! Her childhood is so substituted by this urge to score marks and that alone which makes me feel really bad! And it’s so important to really learn things and not just learn them for exams and marks, which is what happens in most such cases 😦

      Am glad u r the way u r Sari. Hugs 🙂 And gud luck for all that walking 🙂

      Thanx swaram,ya i need loads of good luck to start walking seriously

  1. What you are doing with Varu is the correct method. Children who come from this type of household where they are not compelled to ‘score’ well, but to understand things, will come out very well.

    Thanx sandhya

    A neighbour of my niece has got a 3 year old boy and she wants to join him in LKG, the coming year. She was asking for my niece’s daughter’s LKG books to teach her child at home before he even started going to school. She thinks that it will be easy for her child to ‘grasp’ the ‘lessons’ easily!

    I dont understand why parents don’t want their kids to enjoy their childhood.

    January 1st is the d-day for everything, even for starting your walk! For us, it is always the ‘coming Monday’ to restart walking, if we had to skip walking for a day, because we had to attend a function in the early morning on Wednesday or Thursday!

    Me too planning to start walking from jan1st

  2. Sari, I agree with every word you say. Every child is different, and I think it is very unfair on the child to be put through this sort of comparisons. I don’t understand why parents feel the need to pressurize the kids so. I have something on this line, in my drafts – might post it today. My own struggle to not compare. I see kids being taught a, b,c and 1, 2, 3 when they are barely 1 year old – why? And the comparisons – that is the worst! I can’t imagine what it does to the child’s confidence.

    I have seen parents who try to compare the heights and weights of the kids…

    What you are doing with Varu and Pinkuda is perfect! They will grow up happy and at peace with themselves – and I am sure will do very well for themselves, because they will remain confident. Hugs Sari!

    Thanx smitha and hugs

    As for walks – tell me about it! I have not walked for the last 2 weeks. Today, I forced myself to do a little walk to get back into the routine.

    I walk a lot but i dont have a routine of walking for one hour in a day,it is like one day i walk a lot and sit a home for 3-4 days without any walk.

  3. And the one thing i hate the most about parents is comparing their kids with others. There is nothing more that can break the kid’s self esteem.

    That is the common thing a parent does is comparing whether it is marks,weight,heights etc…

    Go for early morning walks, they are the best.

    Till 9.00 my house is like a war zone,kids running here and there,me running behind them to get them ready for the school…

  4. Pressure does not always work and one should think of all the consequences knowing well the nature of children. In fact in my case being working parents, we never pressurized or asked my both the children to work hard because we were not able to devote time on them, But, they studied so well that both could do B.Tech from prestigious BITS, Pilani and now they are software engineers.

    Welcome here Mr.Ayyangar.You sound like my mom who never pressurized us and we all sisters are post graduates.

  5. Very heartfelt post, Sari. I am glad u go easy on ur kids – they need all the space to think on their own and learn things by themselves. 🙂

    Some parents are real mad at marks and scoring – they all need to change. Lets hope that it happens soon.

    And Congrats on the Tangy Tuesday Pick. 🙂 🙂

    Thanks uma

  6. Agree with all that you’ve said here, sari. It’s so disheartening to see parents compare their children with other kids and their siblings. I wish they understand that by putting so much of pressure on their kids, how gravely they are hampering their confidence. They are crushing their li’l ones’ dreams and desires with their own unjust expectations. It’s so sad!

    Applaud you for this, post, sari. Congrats for the tangy pick 🙂

    Thanx deeps,hugs

  7. …varu’s classmate’s mom took varu’s bag just to check if her son has missed anything to write.She didn’t ask me nor the teacher she just took the bag with the books …

    My jaw just dropped and I have a difficulty getting it back in place. Just wondering how did you address this issue with her. If I were the parent she would be in a big trouble. You do not take stuff from a minor without her parent’s (not teacher) consent. This mother is real prototype of mothers-in-law we read on @IHM’s and GGTS. I keep wondering who is the liscensing authority for parenthood. It should be liscensed…

    Welcome here Desi girl.I complained to the teacher about her and when she came to give the bag back i told her it was not proper for her to take the bag without my permission and warned her not to do it again.

    God save the poor child…
    Desi Girl

  8. Very true… parents are concerned about their kids’ career but only few apply holistic approach… Most of them just find it comfortable to have the ‘ I’ve done my part’ approach

  9. When will the parents learn… When will we learn… I hope the little child is ok..

    I have this phylosphy that in a race there is only ONE WINNER .. rest of te people loose .. so why is winning so importan so why is it that parents got to put kids under so muc stress…

    Every parent want their kid to be the winner and for that they put unwanted pressure on the kids and poor kid suffers because of ambitious parent

    Kids are intelligent these days they know what they want and do .. God bless the kids…


  10. Good One!! Sarita. With my 14yr old. I have no issues . I have never done any comparision before. Was upset for quite sometime about her interests. I have learned that her attitude and outloo towards life is different.
    All I would to teach her to be a responsible individual and provide all the amentities required for her growth in all aspects, rest of it is in her hands. AllizzWelll !!

    Thanx manasa and welcome here.I fully agree to what u r doing,will try to follow it when my kids come to that age,loved these lines “”All I would to teach her to be a responsible individual and provide all the amentities required for her growth in all aspects, rest of it is in her hands””

    PS: For you Yoga can be an alternative.. start feelin guilty you wud end up walking everyday 🙂


    I hope i start walking soon…..

  11. Wonderful post akka.. 🙂 🙂 great to see Varu and Pinkuda enjoying their childhoods 🙂 they will turn wonderful 🙂

    Thanks thambi 🙂

    I never supported forcing kids to study.. they will learn things by themselves.. what people really need to teach kids is manners and that too kids will easily pick up if their mom and dad does the same 🙂

    Now a days kids are very smart,before u think they will do,they will do that and will show u.They are very independent then what we are

    Congrats on the tangy tuesday blogadda pick akka 🙂 🙂

    Thanks thambi

  12. I admire you for your sensibility as a mom, Sari.. that so many parents lack! Varu and Pinku are lucky…

    Seriously, the way ppl push their kids to perfection and what-not is upsetting…

    We ourselves are not perfectionist and we expect that from our kids–the thought itself makes me sick

    And the mom who just took her school bag… ??!!! 😯 Okay, she’s slightly cuckoo!!
    You stay away!! :mrgreen:

    I made it clear to her that i wont tolerate next time if she takes the bag from the kid

    Hope you get time for your walks! 😀

    I am very lazy to start,but will start for sure

    Congrats on the well-deserved Blogadda pick! Hugs!

    Thanx and hugs

  13. I am really impressed with the quality of your blog. It is easy to determine that you are fervent about your writing. If I had your writing ability, I know I would be successful. I have bookmarked your site and look forward to more updates.

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