October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.This is just a small contribution from me to spread the awareness of domestic violence.
Yesterday my neighbour rang my bell and before i would reach the door she ranged it twice,when i opened the door she came running into the house and closed the door and there was a panic in her face.On being asked what happened she said her husband came from the office and she doesn’t want to face him.My daughter is not at home,she went to grocery store.Then i said so,then she said you don’t know my husband he shouts a lot and he doesn’t like my daughter to go out on her own.Her daughter is 16 years old.If he thinks going to a grocery is a forbidden thing he can tell her why he doesn’t want her to go in a soft voice,why to shout at them.
Her husband is out of the house from morning 6.00 to evening 8.00 and he expects his wife to do everything like paying the bills,grocery etc and he shouts on her if the daughter goes to the grocery store to her help mom.This lady is educated and she is working and earns on par with her husband.But she is scared of her husband.Fear is in place of love and trust.Why should she fear him? Why the kids should be scared of their father? He is a decent man,wishes you when ever he sees you,calls your kids and plays with them.What is wrong with him? Ok he comes home after a days long work and from long traffic jams,so he will vent his frustation and anger on his wife and kids.A women also does that? have anyone of you heard about a frustrated women venting her anger on her husband and kids ??
More than the physical abuse it is the mental abuse which goes unnoticed.Words don’t break bones they break hearts.
A close friend of mine has left her marriage after suffering for 4 long years,she says i suffered 4 years and will suffer for long because even after leaving the marriage my past taunts me.For this her parents brought her into this world,gave her education and married her to a decent family after making a good enquire about the family and house where their daughter will live forever.
She is mainly abused by her in-laws and husband is a mute spectator.For this he took seven vows to protect her.She is blamed for everything.When her m-law was sick she was blamed that she didn’t took good care of her.Something happened in the house,her m-law said the day you put foot in our house we are runied.For this her m-law selected this girl to be her son’s wife? She was blamed of not having kids inspite of she showing them reports that there is no problem with her and husband never went for a test.And this guy is very well-educated and has a good career but he didn’t allow her to work inspite of being educated on par with him.Leaving marriage was a good option for her as she has got a good support from the parents.It is more than one year she left the house but still she is not able to come out of that.Time heels but why should she suffer for no fault of hers ?
Don’t bear in silence,silence kills.Help yourself and help others.When you see such violence don’t be a silent spectator,ring their bell for atleast the violence stops for sometime.Bell bajo is campaign, asking you the common man to bring domestic violence to a halt.
Please click the links to read more on the domestic violence written by my fellow bloggers.
Swaram — A part or apart
Lakshmi — Living our own lives
Smitha — Send me no roses