Identity

When ever I see parents accompanying their children and grand kids I feel so happy. There would be many reasons for the parents to take the painful and exhaustive travel for more than 24 hrs. The reason can be they are coming for their daughter or daughter in laws delivery, they want to see their grand kids, son or daughter brought a house, son or daughter wants to show their parents how they live here and want to show them that country attractions or baby sit their kids.

Coming to my title. Clothing says who you are. Each country has their own traditional dress. Be it kimonos of Japan, sari of India,Kilts of Scotland, keffiyeh of Middle East etc gives an identity from where you come. When I was a new comer here a guy asked me I belong to which country and upon telling him  I am from India, he said I love Sarees and his neighbour hood has many Indian families and he see many women wearing them.

I grew up seeing my grandmother,my mother,my aunties and my older cousins wearing only Sarees. And much younger cousins started wearing chudidhars. In olden days girls used to wear long skirts and blouses which is known as langas, then in teen they wear half sarees amd then after marriage they wear Sarees. But the current generation wear Saree occasionally and chudidhars have replaced Saree. I am not sure whether my granny,mom or aunts ever wanted to wear other clothing then the Saree. Or because what others say they snubbed their wish of wearing other dresses.

So when a parent is called to a foreign country why they are made to wear chudidhars. Are they ashamed to see their mom wearing a Saree. Entire life she wored  Sarees and because she has to come to see you and your kids she has to change. I am not sure how comfortable she would be in a chudidhars. There is a other side too, if your mom always wanted to wear and now she is getting an opportunity to wear it then that’s well good. But children forcing her to stop wearing a Saree because you are in a foreign country, that’s not good.

In my old apartment I had a neighbour. At home she used to wear a Saree but when out of the house with her children she used to wear chudidhar. My mom we never spoke about what to wear. She used to wear what she is comfortable in. This aunty told my mother that entire life she never wored a chudidharsand before coming here her son told her to get few chudidhars to wear here. She was waiting to go back so that she will wear Sarees. This aunty was a retired collector.

My point here is let them wear what they want. Because she is coming here don’t force her to wear which she is not comfortable in. As I said before if she is willingly wear it than, that’s ok.

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One thought on “Identity

  1. I quite agree with you Saritha. I have seen this strong urge to ‘fit into’ the culture loom large in the minds of desis everywhere in the world. The result is, so often the visiting parents are highly inconvenienced and can’t enjoy their stay as they otherwise would if left to make choices for themselves.

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