Each passing day… The days we spent with you is getting lesser then the days we spent without you.
It’s been 19 years.
I don’t know at this point if I really miss you, I do and I don’t.
I do when I see my age group people are walking stick to their parents, holding hands when they are taking escalators in malls or trying to search for a lift for them or arranging a wheel chair at the airport.
I don’t miss you, I never thought you left us.
And with each passing day the memories are fading. And very few details I recollect now.
Time is the best healer and I don’t want to get healed and fade all my memories with you.
The most distinct memory I have of you is, sitting on the same chair everyday facing the road. What thoughts your are having then? How to raise my girls?
That chair is like having a memory foam that after you left we felt you are sitting their every evening. We never used to sit in that chair after you left, thinking you are there sitting and seeing outside. That chair belongs to you only.
And the sound of motorcycle(jawa) still echoes in my ears. What ever we were doing, the sound made us to stop everything and sit in front of books. Was it fear or respect. Then it was fear but now I realize it was not. It was your way to descipline us to study hard.
When ever I make pudina (mint) chutney I remember you. I know you were foodie so I am..gone on you I suppose.
Many food items remind me of you like jonanna roti, pudina pachadi,fish curry,kheema, list is endless. To top all this your ever ending desire to eat desserts..nothing can beat that.
And the shirt you used to hang in your bedroom. Mom still hangs that shirt in her bedroom inspite of moving our house nana.
Before we didn’t had a picture of you on the wall, now we have it. You are not with us but you are looking at us.
I remember the glow in your eyes when I brought you a shirt with my first salary. You wored it and stood in front of the mirror like a child who was given a new shirt. The happiness and pride you had in your eyes I can never forget.
When I brought my car and took it to work on 1st day, there were no one to call me at work to check on me whether I reached safely. You called me at work when I took kinetic Honda first time to work.
Five rupees you always used to promise to give me if I keep my mouth shut for five minutes…I never got five rupees from you, it’s not you never gave..I can’t close my mouth even for five minutes.
I have a screw driver which you used to use. I always use it here when I have to fix something. That screw driver has small light at the end and it is a screw driver cum tester which glows when it gets into contact with electricity.
when I speak to pedannana(dad’s elder brother) I feel I am talking to you. He tells me not to spend money by calling him, he will call me. I tell him I didn’t had an opportunity to spend anything on my dad pls allow me to call him.In my next visit to India I am going to see him, will show my kids their tatha.