Please talk to me

She  stares at the entrance of her room all the day to see someone,who talks to her,who hugs her.But retires to the bed in a hope that tomorrow someone will come,will talk to her and will take her from there.She is not alone in that room,there are many eyes glued to the entrance.The moment someone comes at the entrance,all try to get up from their bed calling the visitor to talk to them.

In this fast life we don’t have few minutes to spend with them.

They are ones who taught us our first walk and we don’t have time to hold there hand and help them take a few steps.

They are the ones who taught us our first words and we don’t have time to say few words to them.

They are the ones who fed us our choice of food,we when spitted the food given to us which we disliked and now we left them to others to feed them and they don’t have their choice of food.

They are the ones in their life time never repented of giving birth to us and we don’t repent of sending them to the old age homes.

They inspite of living in the old age homes pray for us.

They are not called home inspite of having a wedding at home,for fear of their death which leads to postpone of the marriage.The son and daughter-in-law are concerned for their daughter not for their mother and mother-in-law.

Inspite of earning well their kids fight for the contribution to be spent on their medical and old age home bills.

They are the ones who gave us  their name, their fame, their time, their money, their whole life are left in destitute because of us.

They are the ones who used to shed tears when we were sick and they took off from the office to look after us and now we don’t have time for them.

They celebrated our birthday’s and we don’t remember their birthdays.

What they want?? They don’t want our money and materialistic pleasure.They just want our love and few minutes of our valuable time.

We have time to take our kids out as we think kids should have fun,we have time to eat at a restaurant,we have time to watch our fav tv serial/program etc………… but we don’t have time to speak few words to them.

A recent survey shows  increase of old age homes in india, Hyderabad alone has 140 old age homes.Where are we heading ? We don’t know that what we did to our parents will happen to us.Maybe a day will come when parents think of not having a child as they are old age homes to take care of them.

I agree that few old age homes give good geriatric treatment but apart from the treatment they want love and someone to say few words to them.

Husband visited old age home when he went to india,there was a women who tried to give money to husband to buy a shirt similar to what hubby was wearing for her son.Her son is a stinking rich guy who doesn’t have time for his mother and rarely visits her.

My mom met her distant relative at a old age home and the relative said these words to mom– “I don’t have any income and i can do my work myself,you are getting pension no,please keep me with you”.

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37 thoughts on “Please talk to me

  1. It’s pathetic to see children treating their own parents as a piece of sh*t…
    Seen my mom’s mom treated badly by her sons. Luckily, her daughters take care of her very well. 🙂

    Your granny is very lucky to have daughters

  2. I hv no words actually to write 😦 Its just too sad to read the two incidents u hv mentioned 😦
    None of our parents should see such a day 😦 Hw cn ppl even do this 😦

    If parents voluntarily decide to go and stay at the home then no probs,they have there same age group people around them,but most of the cases it is not,children just dump their parents in these homes

    Very warm post Savi! Each difference that u hv brought out is so so true!

    They inspite of living in the old age homes pray for us. – So true!

  3. Recently my mom-in-law visited this old-age home as she was invited there for a function…to her surprise there she met two different people a lady and a man both belonging to very affluent family she knows very well….obviously she was narrated the sad tale of how they reached there…very pathetic….reason was as usual’ kids’.We can only set up good examples for our kids by giving our elders our love,respect,care and showing gratitude…. it is very hard to change selfish people ,they never learn their lesson.

    So true kavi we should teach our children to love and respect the elders

  4. You have expressed your feeling very well, here, Saritha. We think that we are going to be self-sufficient like this till the end of our life. If we have got money also, when we become alone in life – after we lose husband/wife, it is horrible to think how our life will be. If we have got good siblings or good relatives, then some change might be there in our day-to-day life. Otherwise, in this fast life of our youngsters, no one will have time to spare. We can’t blame youngsters too. Old people should do something to engage themselves, till the last stage, that is the only solution – this can be done if their health permits.

    1. I agree to what u said sandhya and my mom is the best example,she lost her husband at very young age and she is not dependent on anyone,she has money,support of her siblings and she is making new friends and having great time with them.

  5. Saritha, You brought tears to me eyes with this.. It is so sad to be alone during the autumn of ones lives..

    Smitha ur words says it all “autumn of ones lives”

    You know, old age homes themselves might not be bad – but dumping parents there just to get out of the responsibility is very sad.. There is an old person’s home near where we live here. But the difference what I have seen is that people here, want to live here to be independant. This way, they have a circle of friends and help at hand. If they stayed with their children, they feel lonely, apparently. I meet some of them, on my walks or at the bus stand and they are very cheerful. They are either going for walks together or going out shopping together.. Apparently after their spouses passed away, it made more sense for them to live with others their age because they felt less lonely..

    In India, on the other hand, old age homes are used as dumping ground.. And it is sad that children do not even bother to visit their parents.. It must be so sad that they wait with bated breath for their children to come, and they don’t turn up…

    Smitha husband visited a old age home when he went to india few days back and what i wrote is his experience,the moment he entered the home all the people started calling him,come here come here,smitha he was in tears and even now when he tells me he cries.

  6. I’m choked up after reading this post pf yours,Sari.

    Yes,its so sad how parents are neglected by their very own children. How they are left craving for a few precious time with their children. How they are sent to the old age homes because their children want to lead their own lives and want to take the’load’ off their shoulders. How pathetic!

    Even they don’t bothered to check them once a week

    I agree with Smitha.some of the old age homes are really good.In fact when they come across people of the same age group under one roof,they end up living a much happier life than they would have with their children

    Younger generation don’t like what the old people talk so they are happy with the people of there age but they too want to talk to their children and grand children.

  7. Touching post Saritha..it feels sad hearing about the increase in the no.of old age homes..
    its not bad that their number is increasing.. as u said, some take good care of people at that age but the fact that they are ‘dumped’ there by their own children is bad…

    They just want few minutes of their valuable time

  8. wow.. how sad is that 😦
    But, its a sensitive issue also..

    We have family friends and Uncle is suffering because his wife’s mother is at home with them and she is an old lady – but she is such a tyrrant!
    No one wants her to stay with them, so these people have let her stay, but she steals from her own daughter, takes her full salary and ill-treats her grand daughter!!!!

    I agree pixie there are people like the lady u mentioned,but having done so much for the children and when they are grown up and don’t need the parent,they dump them in the homes.It is so pathetic to see the homes.
    But, yes… I do agree with what you’ve written…

  9. 😦 😦 I am in tears akka..

    Me too cried when i heard about the old age home from husband who visited the home when he went to india

    its a pain to see those parents suffering in those old age homes…

  10. Beautifully written Saritha. This is the one reason why I left my job in Dubai and came back to India ! I have no more words. loved this.

    U left ur job for ur parents?

  11. Sad reality

    I still remember how my prof cried after having watched Baghban previous night and pleaded to girls in the class not to destroy homes of their future in-laws. It was believe me, very touching

    1. Pesto Sauce but what about those senior citizens who have only daughters, who have no Sons?

      Now legally all children sons and daughters are responsible for taking care of their parents. Sons in law have same responsibility as daughters in law.

    2. Welcome here pesto.

      It is not only the girls who are responsible for neglecting their inlaws,even guys are also responsible.Baghban showed how the d-inlaws avoided getting their inlaws in to their homes but the sons also doesn’t want their parents to stay with them,their unmarried son also doesn’t want to keep his parents with him.

      As said by IHM both of them have responsibility to look after parents and inlaws.

  12. Saritha it’s heart breaking to even imagine this. I feel we should all plan for our old age, and this planning should start from the day we start earning.

    I agree with u

    Financial security is important. These days many old couples in my neighbourhood are travelling, meeting each other and enjoying their golden years – only able to do this because they planned well. My mother is 68, lives alone, and attends lots of family gatherings, and has an active social social life. She recently got me to open a face book account for her so she can see her grand children’s pictures. I hope to be like her at her age.

    Even my mom who is 60 now lives alone and quite active in her activities,she visits temples to do seva in the temples along with her friends for week or so.She is happy living alone and doing her things and she loves to visits her sisters and brothers,which she used to avoid when we 3 were at home for fear of living girls alone in the house,now that she doesn’t have any responsibilities she goes where were she wants to,touchwood her health also permits that.She booked Nano as she wants to drive a car now

    I think in India we need better old age homes. Not a place to dump old people, but a place where old people are free from housekeeping worries and have good medical care available, and of course company of people their own age.

  13. Hello ! SARITHA ….HOW ARE YOU DEAR ?MY LOVE TO PINKUDA and VARUNAVI.

    Fine kavi, i was a bit busy as pinkuda got injured and she is not allowing me to touch the laptop,thanx kavi

  14. Hey. 🙂
    Sad state of affairs and true to a large extent in today’s scenario.
    And Parents should never be left in old age homes, irrespective of what. Not after how well they take care of us.

    Welcome here niveditha.Some cases it is the parents decision go to old age homes to be with there own age group people but those cases are quite rare,mostly the old people are dumped in the old age homes by their children

  15. Totally touching. I agree – the one thing that most of us dont have enough these days is time…
    Everyone seems to have so much planned for their daily life so much so that they dont have this few mins to spare for the near and dear ones!

    That’s what i wrote,we have time for everything but can’t take out time for our parents,who at this age need us to talk to them

    1. She is better now,two days back she had a cut on her tongue and maybe she had pain,she was cranky and didn’t allow me to touch the pc.
      Now she is better and back to her busy work

  16. It is very sad how easily children forget who actually were their pillars and teachers and start to lead a life as if they just came to the world grown up, standing on their own feet. Nice post Saritha. I am glad I got to read this. A relative of ours was in old age home irrespective of having super rich children. Too sad they could not enjoy her company.

    Thanx lakshmi.The children of those parents who are is old age home are the unluckiest children who are not having the company of their parents.

  17. Long time no hear no post,sari! Is everything ok? Varu & Pinkuda fine?
    Love and ummas to them from Namnam 🙂

    A bit busy with pinkuda,she is having fever since yesterday and before she had a injury,today went to the doc.

  18. Thats such a touching post… Warm and beautiful post.. Its really sad to see the rate at which these old age homes are increasing.. Well written.

    Thanx rajlakshmi and welcome here

  19. hey how is pinkuda now….when ur kid got hurt..its like mother is also hurt.

    Hugs to pinkuda…wish her get well soon..

    Thanx rashmi,she is fine.Hugs

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