Santa and Banta………..once again

Teacher: Translate – Bazaar mein goliyan chal rahi hain.
Santa: The Tablets are walking in the market.

Interviewer: What is skeleton?
Santa: Skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!

Santa sent SMS to his BOSS: Me sick, no work.
Boss SMS back: When I am sick I kiss my wife try it.
Two hours later Santa sms 2 boss: Me ok, ur wife very sweet

Santa ki chatri me hole tha, kisine pucha, umbrella mein hole kyu?
Sardar bola: Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega.

Banta: Pareshan lag rahe ho.
Santa: Yaar baap ban ne wala hu.
Banta: Yeh to khushi ki baat hai.
Santa: Lekin biwi ko nahi pata.

Santa bada dukhi tha, kisi ne pucha itni tension me kyon ho?
Santa: Ek dost ko 3 lac plastic surgery k liye diye the, ab use pehchan nahin pa raha

THE BEST ONE ! ! ! ! !
Driver: Sir ji, petrol khatam ho gaya , gaadi aage nahi ja sakti.
Banta: Chalo Phir, wapis le chalo.

Banta: Kal Muje 10 logo ne Peeta.
Santa: Phir tune kya kiya?
Banta: Maine kaha salon ek-ek karke aao.
Santa: Phir?
Banta: Phir kya, Salon ne ek-ek karke dubara Peeta !

Inspector to Banta: Faansi se pehle, bata teri antim ichha kya hai?
Banta: Mere pair upar aur sir neeche kar k faansi de do..! .

Hope my readers enjoyed it……………….

Chuk Chuk Rail

This post i dedicate to the person who invented trains.The history of train dates back to 1825 and history can be read here

As a child i remember this rhyme which my mom used to sing for us.Now my elder daughter sings for her kid sister.She makes her sister catch her frock and run around the house singing the rhyme.One day her teacher asked her to sing a rhyme lol she sang this rhyme,which i am sure most of them understood it.

The rhymes goes like this…

As a kid i was always excited to go by train.But we hardly used to travel as my relatives are in and around hyderabad.Maybe once in two years we used to go here.

There is a railway track very close to my house which is used only for the goods train.As a kid when i hear the sound of the train, i used to run to the terrace and count the bogies,which i do even now.The only difference then and now is that i have got a company of my daughter to count the boogies.

When i joined my first job the company told me that i have to travel to other cities.I was very happy thinking that i will get a chance to travel by train.But lol they handed me a air ticket much to my shock.

Then the day came when i was taking my first flight.My mom and my sister came to airport to send me of for a journey which would last only 45-50 mins.By the time my mom and sister reached home i was in mumbai.

My would be b-law came to recieve me at the airport.He said we will take a taxi to Andheri and from there we will catch a train.I was very excited atlast i am getting into the lifeline of mumbai.

We took a taxi and went to the andheri station.The station was full and b-law told me, you be behind me,see me in which compartment i am getting into you also get into it with me.I said ok.

Train came and stopped all the crowd was at the train to get into it.To my shock i didn’t see my b-law and was searching for him.Suddenly i saw his shirt collar and pulled it so hard that later he told me he had to take a tablet to reduce pain in his neck.Then some how we got into another train and reached my hotel.

Then again i got a chance to travel by train when i changed my job.My company gave me training at Belapur.We were around 10-12 employees who went from Hyderabad to Mumbai.Our HR guy took us to mumbai.There is funny incident which is worth mentioning.

After we reached mumbai the hr guy said we need to take a train to Belapur.We asked him whether he knows the route? Very confidently he said he has been to mumbai many times and he is well aware with the trains.He brought the tickets and we boarded a train which he said will go to belapur (we also didnt bother to check).He said we will reach belapur in 45mins.
We were seeing mumbai through the train window and didn’t realise that it is more that 45 min and we are seeing the same stations again.We checked with him how long will it take more.He was confused and didn’t reply us.Then he asked a fellow passenger where the train is going,lol he said the train is going to mumbai central from where we got into the train.

Then he said very softly that we took a wrong train.We travelled to kalyan and back to mumbai central.That is why we would see the same station again.

After reaching mumbai central, me and my friend went and brought the tickets and got into a train which took us to belapur as said by him in 45 mins.

Dubai is starting its first metro rail in Sep this year.Let me see if i can catch that as well.

Some of glimpse of mumbai trains

All images are from Google image search

The First Born Tag…..

IHM tagged me to do.

1) Was Your First Pregnancy Planned? YES

2) Were You Married At That Time ? Obviously

3) What Were Your Reactions? Atlast got to know the reason for the constipation.Had a good laugh and called up mom.

4) Was Abortion An Option For You? NO

5) How Old Were You? 26

6) How Did You Find Out You Were Pregnant ?The doctor did the test

7) Who Did You Tell First? Went to the doc with the hubby,it he who told me the test is positive,as he went to get the reports.

8) Due Date? Was 14th February,but delivered her on 1st February

9) Did You Have Morning Sickness? It was too much.It made me wonder why people say one should enjoy their pregnancy.Till the delivery i had morning sickness.

10) What Did You Crave? Cherries,carrots,salted pista and cashew, mom’s fish and head curry and anything spicy.Survived on pista and cashew.

11) Who/What Irritated You The Most ? The smell we get when we fry chapati.Not been able to eat anything spicy.I have been told not to sit on the floor.In eighth month doc told me not to eat salt,so full month was eating food without salt.

12) What Was Your First Child’s Sex? A girl.

13) Did You Wish You Had The Opposite Sex Of What You Were Getting? Yes.Hubby wanted a girl but some where in my mind i wanted a boy,infact i came to know about the sex of the child when i was 4 month’s pregnant that was in muscat (oman).

14) How Many Pounds Did You Gain Throughout The Pregnancy? Not much 6-7kgs

15) Did You Have A Baby Shower? No

16) Was It A Surprise Or Did You Know? I haven’t seen anyone in my family doing it,so i never had that thing in my mind.

17) Did You Have Any Complications During Your Pregnancy? Yes,in 8th month i got Blood Pressure and my delivery was induced before the due date

18) Where Did You Give Birth? Hyderabad

19) How Many Hours Were You In Labour? 17 hours.Morning at 9.00 doc induced and baby came out only next day early morning 2.10 am

20) Who Drove You To The Hospital/Birth Center? Walked into the hospital with hubby and m-law and got admitted in the hospital as it was induced delivery.

21) Who Watched You Give Birth? The gynae doc and her assistants with their sleepy eyes.

22) Was It Natural Or C-Section ? Natural.

23) Did You Take Medicine To Ease The Pain? No.But asked the doc if i can get that.

24) How Much Did Your Child Weigh? 2.5 kgs.

25) When Was Your Child Actually Born ? At 2.10 am.Everyone were in half sleep except me and my doctor.And the baby didnt cry at all and was thinking why i am not able to hear her cry.Then they pinched the baby to cry.

26)What Was Your Reaction When The Doctor Announced The Sex Of The Baby? I was aware of the sex of the baby,but the doctor didnt tell me unless i asked her.She said you have got a laxmi (It is very common when a girl child is born,people say laxmi is born,she will bring laxmi to you……).But for me she is my small sweet bundle of happiness.

27) What Was Your First Reaction On Seeing The Baby?When i took her for the first time all the pain i have gone through 9 months just disappeared.I was very happy to see her and her small dimple on her left cheek. And also i welcomed her to this bad world.She was so happy in womb for nine months listening only to mama.

28) Did You Cry? My eyes were moist

29) What Did You Name Her? It was coincidence, her name is goddess laxmi

30) How Old Is Your First Born Today? She completed 5 on feb 1st.

Actually i wanted to add another incident but there is no option where in i can include it, that is hubby dear was laughing when he saw me in the gown walking in the delivery room.I called him to ask the doc to opt for a operation.Doc came and said this is the problem with the educated females.

Honestly i have not done anything except watching hindi songs on MTV,i was working then.But when i left my job and went to hyderabad my mom used to drag me to take a walk in the evening,i was too lazy to go out.I was missing my hubby as he was in oman.Maybe that is the reason my kid is very attatched to her father then me.