Wordless Wednesday — 36

A letter from Amma

When i was in muscat amma used to write to me very frequently inspite of having hotmail account.Before leaving India i took her to net cafe and showed her how to mail me and read my mails.Initially she wrote few mails and then switched to letters.Almost every week i used to get mails from her and if i delay writing back to her,she used to call me inquiring if everything is ok.Today when i was cleaning i got a bunch of letters she wrote to me.I want to share what she wrote to me 7 years back.

Dear Saritha,

How are you and Rk ? Please write to me frequently.I am fine here and i am not alone as i am having sweet memories of my daughters,especially my saritha.I am not alone,i am having my life.

Carefully read and understand the following:-

Gita says that we have to work constantly,work with all power to put our whole mind in the work,what ever it be,what ever we are doing.At the same time we must not be attached .That is to say we must not be drawn away from the work by anything else,still we must be able to quit the work when ever we like.So god has given me the strength to do my work with my daughters co-operation.I only did my job but nothing else.

Attachment is the sources of all our pleasures.We are attached with our relationship so we get pleasures from that.At some stage in our life we have to detach ourselves at will.You never left me alone.He/she who is having the power of attaching himself to a thing what ever it maybe with all the energy,has also the power to detach himself when he/she should do.There is as much pain of attachment as that of detachment.

Don’t worry about me please enjoy your life.Don’t do dieting and eat well.

मुझै न भुलाना.

Love

Amma.

A lie

Till my 10th standard i was known as AP Saritha,A is the family name and P is my dad’s name.All my classmates and my school teachers  know me as ap saritha.But i never liked AP in my name.My classmates used to call me Andhra Pradesh saritha and used to hate been called ap saritha.

Once my 10th class teacher asked me to give my name in bold letters which she is going to send it to 10th board.I gave my name as A Saritha.My teacher insisted on keeping AP but i told her my dad said don’t add P.Which was a big LIE.And i never told all this at home.

When i got my hall ticket for 10th board,i was so happy to see my name as i wanted.But when my dad saw that hall ticket he was shocked to see that P is missing.To cover one lie,i told a lie again and told him my teacher did a mistake.He was very upset that i don’t have his name before mine where as both my sisters had Ap before their names (they changed it to husband’s family name later,which i didn’t do)

But my mom didn’t say anything,she just said don’t ever lie.If you don’t like it,you should have told me and i would have convinced your father.I didn’t feel much as i was happy that what i wanted i got it.

Now varunavi made me realise that i made a mistake of telling a lie.Varunavi name ends with Sai and since she was 1 year old she used to tell her full name.Since few day i am seeing her not telling her full name nor writing her full name.When i asked her why you are not writing she said her classmates teased her for having a long name,so she doesn’t like to add Sai after her name.I didn’t had thoughts of 6 year old when i was 14 years old.She told me and i told a lie.

I really don’t repent of changing my name but i repent for telling a lie.We tell so many lies but this lie i felt i should not have told.I am really sorry nana.I wish he was alive to hear me saying sorry to him.It’s been 13 long years without him………….